Lydia's Journey BEYOND Hollywood

What is it about New Year's that always makes me feel like I get a fresh start?  A do-over.  A chance to set new goals. I LOVE this time of year!  I get so excited about the possibilities for the new year.  I never dwell on what I didn't accomplish this year - only what I dream about for the next year.  I clean out closets, desks, drawers and fridges.  I've always been a pretty optimistic person.   I know some people don't like making new years resolutions, mainly because most of them quit after a few weeks.  But there's something about getting excited over new goals, that drive to achieve them, the possibility of actually reaching them, that gets me so excited! 2012 was pretty amazing.  It was hectic and stressful - yes, but there is no way I can beat the miracle of giving birth to my beautiful Ivy Rose on any other given year.  I've had some amazing accomplishments over the past few years, but nothing quite like these past couple...

You know that saying?  I went from "zero to a hundred"?  Or "baptism by fire"?  Or that ever popular "jumping in with both feet"? Well, Ceasar and I were decorating our living room for the holidays this weekend, and after putting our stockings up by the fireplace, we realized we have 5 - FIVE stockings up!  Ceasar's, Mine, his 11 year old daughter's, and Nic and Ivy's. I went from zero - to now 5.  And this is less than a year!!  This December will be 2 years that I've been back in Texas.  Just a short two years ago, I got in my little two seater convertible with my cat and moved back to Texas.  And here I am, no more cat unfortunately (she passed away the same month we got here) and now with a house full of my own family.  How weird is that?? I think that's been my biggest issue - is trying to adjust to this huge change.  I jumped in with both feet and even though at times it seems like I'm drowning, I'm learning to swim a...

Let me tell you, this mom thing is tough work!  I second guess myself at every turn!  Am I giving Nicolas enough vegetables?  Am I doing him harm by allowing him an actual bottle now and then instead of his sippy cup?  (He sleeps quicker sucking on a bottle instead of a cup - sue me)  Are they both supposed to be pointing at their nose by now?  Am I reading enough to them?  (probably not)  Is it disgusting that they share every germ by sharing teething rings and toys???  (LOL)  How am I supposed to ever get it right???? I have a confession.  There are days when I actually have a full on melt-down.  Yes, DAYS...as in multiple.  It usually comes after 5pm, when Ceasar happens to work late and both kids decide to throw fits, and I'm trying to cook dinner, feed them, clean up the house a bit, remember to move the clothes into the dryer so they don't start to stink, and then...I just lose it.  I chalk it up to being not "...

As I'm not new to this whole "show" business, I am new to putting babies in this business.   My 7 month old daughter Ivy had her second audition last week.  It was for a national diaper campaign which includes commercial and/or print work.  We signed in, they told me to strip her down to just her diaper and top and that they would take her in  - alone, play with her, take some pictures, and she'll be right out.  And before I knew it, some stranger walked off into another room with my child and shut the door.  I was immediately uneasy.  That just didn't seem right to me.  I had no idea who was in that room, what was happening, and as a mother, I was more frightened for the well being and safety of my child.  She was indeed, right out and we left.  Because I left so uncomfortable about it, I called SAG to find out if that was normal protocol.  They told me that, as per the SAG commercial contract, page 92 states "(a) parent must be...

The babies are keeping busy!   We have our second audition for the babies this weekend.  It's for a national diaper campaign with commercials and print.  It would be awesome if one or both would book it!  What's funny is, they plan to shoot in Round Rock, where we live, and a location scout came by last night to take pics of our home.  You never know, they may end up shooting here AND using US for the commercial! That would just be too awesome. I've been taking my time about getting an agent in town because I didn't think there would be that much work for them locally.  But it seems like things are picking up!  And I'm on the fence about going out on auditions myself.  I'm going this weekend since its an audition for families with babies, but I don't think I want to get back in the auditioning game for just myself.  I'd rather work in the casting office, finding the talent!  Too bad the casting work out here is not as abundant as it is...

I have always been addicted to TV for as long as I can remember. It's probably one of the main reasons I became an actress.  Growing up, I remember our family TV being on all the time.  I can do everything while watching TV.  Fold laundry, cook, check email, get dressed, all while keeping one eye glued to the TV.  It's quite a skill actually!  I'm the queen multi-tasker! But lately, I felt like my addiction to the tube, as well as the computer, kept me from doing the best job possible as a mom to my babies.  I noticed my toddler's behavior was getting more aggressive and frustrating (to both himself and ME).  I figured it's because of his molars coming in.  And then I thought, I wonder if all this noise from the TV bothers him?  Or maybe he's frustrated at competing for my attention with the TV and computer?  I wonder how different our day would be if I cut all of this out for just one day.  To see. So yesterday, I came downsta...

Guest Blogger, Katie Moore, shares her recent article with my readers.  :) Tips for New Moms: Prevention and Treatment of Diaper Rash Having a newborn in the home can present many challenges for a new mom. Along with figuring out feeding and sleeping schedules, a new mom will also have to learn how to comfort her baby when he is uneasy.   One of the most common problems that results in discomfort for baby, and added stress for mom, is diaper rash. It was long thought to be representative of neglect, but this hypothesis is patently false. Inflammation does result from infrequent diaper changes, but there are many more causes. Prevention and timely treatment are the best ways to minimize or eliminate this problem. Preventing Diaper Rash Contact dermatitis is the inflammatory erosion of the epidermis. It occurs with prolonged contact between skin and feces or urine. This type of diaper rash only affects areas in direct contact, and it is recognizable in ...

Do I still call myself an actress? For many years, even before I was making any money as an actress, I identified myself to anyone who would ask, that yes, I AM AN ACTRESS.  I always felt that unless I claimed it, it wouldn't happen.  So I have been an actress for most of my life.  Getting paid for it for the past 20 years.  It's who I've always been.  And when I made the decision to leave LA and search for something MORE, the next phase in my life, I had no idea that I'd be trading in my title as "actress" for "Mom".   It's funny, because I still have difficulty with that transition.  When other moms ask me what I do for a living, or used to do - I still say I'm an actress - even though I'm not actively pursuing a career.  I coach kids on their upcoming auditions, I do career consulting for new actors, I'll even cast your film if you hire me, or produce a project.  I have worn many titles, but actress has always spilled off my ton...

This weekend, a company arrived in my old hometown and gathered almost 1,000 locals in a "talent search" for young stars.  NOTHING angers me more than someone trying to take advantage of another person, except for when that person is a hopeful kid with a dream.  They promise success and lure these people into paying THOUSANDS of dollars in classes and workshops giving hope that their kid will be the next star on Disney or Nickelodeon or "High School Musical 4". Listen to me:  DO NOT give them your money.  What they are telling you is bullshit. Whenever you run into someone who says that you can be famous or have all these opportunities if you just pay money upfront is a scam.  ANYONE who asks for money upfront is a scam.  An agent or manager will take a small percentag e off of work you book (usually 10-15%).  You do not pay them weekly or monthly. It makes me SO MAD that they sit these people in a room, and they talk a nice talk, and get everyone e...

Ivy doesn't need a helmet! They scanned her head and told me she is not a candidate for one.  In fact, she has a beautifully round head.  The doctor even went further and said she would hope her patients ended up with Ivy's shape AFTER using the helmet!  Great news!   YAY!!! I decided not to take Nicolas with me on the appointment, which meant that I had to drop him off at a playcare facility for a couple of hours.  It's only my second time leaving him somewhere so I'm still a bit nervous.  I want him to not be traumatized and to have fun!  And trusting complete strangers to take care of your baby is TOUGH.  I'm always hoping they treat him well and he has fun.  Since he can't talk yet, he can't tell me.  :(

Between one year doctor's appointments, 6 month check ups, dentist appointments, Baby and Me classes and story time at the neighborhood library, it's no wonder why we need to hire a housekeeper to tend to this house!  I barely have time to shower!  I had to move my daily morning shower to the evening, just so I don't have it interrupt our busy day! Being a mom is exhausting! But I'm trying to find time for me in the whirlwind of parenting.  Whether that means having dinner with girlfriends I haven't seen in a while, or taking off to watch a movie or play.  Sometimes I just need a quick break.  And in the midst of trying to find my groove with all this, I've decided to privately coach and consult other actors in their career.  Not sure when I will find the time to do this, but in a way - this is something for me. My sweet Ivy turned 6 months old this week.  She has an appointment tomorrow to check if her head is so flat in the back that she needs a...

So tomorrow Nicolas turns one year old. I can't believe that a year has gone by already.  I remember when he was born.  I was excited, nervous, not knowing what to expect.  And here we are...a year later and I no longer have a baby boy.  I have a little boy.  A boy who is walking already!  A boy who loves cheerios, yogurt, crackers and raisins.  He makes cute scrunched up faces and loves bath time.  He has 8 teeth and loves drinking from a straw.  He'd rather feed himself with his hands than take a spoon.  And he loves sharing and hugs.  He's my baby no matter how old he gets.  And I'm so proud of him! We celebrated his birthday in Corpus this past weekend, surrounded by family who all love him.  And even though I was stressed out about planning this party, and making sure everything ran smoothly, I had a great time seeing Nic have fun.  :) Happy birthday my sweetheart!  Mommy loves you very much!

So excited to share the trailer of Homebound by Fanny Veliz, my first feature film as a Casting Director.   Homebound Trailer

1. My collection of many cute and sexy high heel shoes are collecting dust under my bed. 2. I am now a very light sleeper. The smallest sound from anywhere in the house has me up and ready to tend to a baby.  3. If I ever sleep past 7am, it is a luxury, and definitely considered "sleeping in".  4. I pay the same monthly for my two story house in Texas than I did for my one bedroom apartment in West Hollywood. Less even. And the house still isn't big enough!  5. I went from a two seater sports car to an SUV, and it's STILL not big enough!  6. I dread getting a call that I have an audition since that means I would need to find a sitter. Or more than likely, decline the audition.  7. Going to the movies is now a rarity in my life, when it was something I did 4-5 times a week!  8. I can't remember the last time I got my nails done.  9. Or put on makeup. (Oh, wait, it was date night this past Saturday.)  10. My living r...

So I've been feeling a little stressed and frustrated lately. With two babies six months apart??? How is that possible??? ;) Lol I'm sure spending 24/7 with my babies, its obvious I need a break, for my sanity. And Ceasar and I definitely are overdue for a date night. WAY overdue. I frantically started looking for referrals for babysitters and tried to find an evening where we can finally go out as adults, minus the company of our kids. I got a couple of names of high schoolers that other moms use regularly. I just wasn't sure if it would be wise to have a teenager watch TWO babies so young at the same time - for the first time with our family. So we opted to try a drop off center that stays open late. We took a tour of the facility Saturday morning, to see if we got a good vibe and to check out how clean and friendly the place was. Nic seemed to take to the place pretty quickly. He loved seeing the other kids and the many toys they had there. Plus, I liked th...

So after taking a good year and a half off of coaching, I got back into it again last week. A friend of mine in LA referred a local kid actor to me for coaching and/or consulting. I coached him for a short film audition he had in Dallas. I hadn't been actively pursuing this extension of my career here in Austin because...well, I had been busy having a baby and raising TWO! Lol But now I'm thinking it would be nice, a couple of days out of the week, to set aside for coaching and consulting - you know, to ease back into it. I'm even purchasing a video camera so I can either put myself on tape if anything interesting comes along - or coach and tape other kid or adult actors who need to send tape. Right now I'll just expect to get my clients through word of mouth, and as it begins to grow, then actively market it. Hmm.. I'm actually excited to focus on something business related again. :) Too much time off being a "mom" makes me miss it a bit. ;)

No one told me it would be like this! Seriously! All my mom friends would say that whenever I became a mom, it would be the best experience of my life! Unlike anything I've ever experienced! No one can truly explain what that love feels like...yadda yadda yadda... And it's all true. I never could've imagined that I could feel love like this for another human being - much less TWO. It's unlike any love I've ever experienced. These two babies are my reason for living at the moment - my purpose in life, and most definitely the HARDEST job I've ever had in my life. Now, most would say that coming from a nice career as an actress in Hollywood, that's not saying much. True. But I don't know how else to express how hard this mom thing is. No. Really. Let's just start with yesterday. In my efforts in trying to be a "great" stay-at-home mom, I've looked into the various places in the area that have "Baby and Me" classes...

I wonder how long I can use the excuse "I JUST had a baby" to explain why I'm not back to skinny. Who am I kidding - I've never been "skinny". Lol Ivy will be 5 months in a couple of weeks, I guess I should get off my butt already and kick things into gear. But my pre-pregnancy weight was more than I would like it to be - so simply going back to what I was before I had her is not enough. I want myself back to my best weight. Hmm..I AM older...maybe that's asking too much of myself. I don't need to be my "smallest" - but smaller than what I am now would be nice. Hell, 20 pounds would be great - but still not enough. Ahhh...memories. :) Motivation? It's just so much harder to find any time to workout with two babies. Maybe that's just an excuse. I need to make time, right? If you want something, you can never get it by sitting back and daydreaming about it. You have to MAKE IT HAPPEN. That's how I'...

I've been checking out agencies for Nic and Ivy - just out of curiosity mostly. I figured I can't really take off for auditions for myself - but I can take them! And there is one trend I'm noticing with Texas agents that I just don't get. What's with charging talent to be on the agent's website???? I don't understand that concept. The agent represents the actor - so wouldn't it be in the best interest for the agent to showcase their talent on their company website? Maybe someone can enlighten me, but in my opinion, the agent's job is to help find work so they can collect their percentage (- sometimes up to 20% if the actor is non-union!) by submitting them for projects and hopefully even pitching them to casting. They don't get paid unless the actor does, right? So why charge the actor to be on their own company site? If the purpose of the agent's website is to raise the profile of their actors and make it easy for casting to see who t...

I'm torn. I'm debating if this is the right time for me to get back into the swing of things and audition again. I have auditions for two plays next week, if I choose so. They would be opening in September and December. This would be my first play back since having the babies. I remember the last play I did, I didn't quite feel ready for it. And I feel like my performance suffered because of it. And now, I'm torn if I should out myself back there again. Mainly because Ivy and Nic are still so little. And rehearsals would most likely be from 7-10 most evenings, so that means I would be with the babies until Ceasar gets home, spend maybe an hour with him, and then take off to rehearsal for a few hours. By the time I would get home, the babies would be asleep and I would do the whole thing over again the next day. I'm scared. I'm not sure why. On one hand, its a huge commitment. Many nights of rehearsal, many hours sacrificed away from home. On the ot...

Having kids makes you a grown up. Or at least less selfish. This week we got life insurance. I've never thought about life insurance before. But something happens with you have kids. It makes it one of the most important investments in your life. Their future security. Next week its a mutual fund for the babies college (or car or graduation trip in case they get full scholarships!) Before, my savings would be for those slow Acting months to make sure I had rent covered; or a fabulous international vacation I was hoping to take; or a sporty two seater BMW convertible (ahh..memories!) Now, these days, it's for the babies and their future. I know it's going to be expensive raising two babies, especially how close in age they are! High school at the same time. Sports and organizations, school dances. Graduations close together. COLLEGE!!! Current income used to be for however many shoes, purses and clothes my heart desired. Dinners out with friends, happy hours, day...

Do you know what SUCKS about being a mom? Seeing your baby sick. Damn, I feel so helpless. Guilty actually. I felt like I was coming down with something on Saturday. I had absolutely no voice on Sunday, a bad sore throat and cough on Monday, and full blown sick on Tuesday. So I'm pretty sure I'm the one that got little Nicolas sick. :( He started off with just a cough on Monday. Then woke up with a runny nose on Tuesday. By Tuesday afternoon, he was full blown sick! He's been up the past two nights in pain, unable to sleep or breathe. It's so heartbreaking!!! I know his little body is aching and tired and, as a mom, you wish you could do ANYTHING to make him feel better. To take away his sickness and bring him back to his healthy happy self. Having a sick baby SUCKS so bad. Because you know, if he's not sleeping, neither are we! So I'm taking care of two babies while I'm sick and so very tired, and trying not to get little Ivy sick. I can...

Oh My God. Do you know how expensive child care is?? If you have a baby/kid, and work full-time - you probably do. Wow. I'm in shock. I think I may need to change careers because they must be millionaires in that field! I drove by a day care/preschool on my home the other day. It looked really nice on the outside and they were super close to my house, so I figured I'd give them a call, you know, just out of curiosity. In case I ever wanted to get a full time job one day. Well, they told me that under the age of 1, they charge $277 - A WEEK! If I wait until Nic turns 1, he would be $245 a week and Ivy would still be the $277! That's $522 a week in childcare! for ONE household!!! Even if I waited until they were both 2 years old and then enrolled them, it would cost $235 a week - PER KID. I would have to get one amazing job in order to justify putting them in childcare. I mean, how do people do it? It's crazy!

Do you ever feel like you are on the outside of your life, looking in? I think I feel that way mainly because my life was one way for so long. And here I am, in just a short amount of time, living a completely different life. It all seems so surreal at times. There are moments when I look at these babies and really ask myself if they are really here. If they will really be here tomorrow. If my life is forever changed. And there are days when I look at them and wonder how they got so big so fast! Time just jumps on a train when you have kids. I spent 10 years developing a career in Hollywood. I can't imagine what my life will be like in 10 more years. How big these kids will be - who they will become - what life will be like. All I know is, I'm sure it will be completely different than now, or even what I expect. It scary and exciting. Its...well...weird. I used that word very heavily during my pregnancy and labor. Everything was "weird". Watching my b...

So I've been a little stressed lately, mainly for two reasons. Nicolas must be going through a growth spurt or something, because he used to almost sleep through the night - and last night he woke up every three hours to eat - like a newborn. Maybe he's over tired or not eating enough during the day. I'm not sure. I just hope it gets better. Another reason I've been stressed is, I keep hearing about mothers who lose their children. Maybe not "keep hearing" but just once or twice is enough to make me paranoid! Ivy is three months and I'm constantly staring at her chest to make sure it is moving. Or if she is sound asleep, I touch her to see if she moves, just to make sure she is ok. I read about this woman who's daughter just passed away in her sleep, and she was Ivy's age, just last week. She may have spit up and choked on it and suffocated. I'm not exactly sure the reason for her death, but it just scares me. Maybe I just need to ...

I am one lucky girl. I was blessed with the most amazing baby girl. No seriously. She is such a good baby! It's like she knows we have our hands full already trying our best to handle TWO babies, so she doesn't make a fuss. Hardly ever. If she cries, it's only for a short period to let us know she's hungry. She sits quietly and observes. She gives me a HUGE smile whenever she sees me and loves to crack up laughing. And this little baby is a talker! She will sit and have conversations with me whenever she's awake - because she loves to sleep. And of course, she easily sleeps through the night. How did we get so lucky??? I often sit and stare at her beautiful face and wonder what kind of person she will grow up to be. What kind of dreams will she have? What kind of places will she see? Who will her best friends be? Will she love the arts? Would she want to play an instrument? Dance? Sing? ACT??? Will she always give people that beautiful smile? I ...

Yes. Its true. I'm another year older. I celebrated with family on Sunday in Corpus Christi. The day after my high school reunion. It's funny how fast you can revert back to your high school self once you see those old friends. Its as if no time had gone by - for most of us. ;) I had a good time even though I debated about going for some time now. It was kind of weird when people were talking about my acting career and would introduce me as the "actress in Hollywood". I quickly corrected them with "I used to be... I'm a mom now." Maybe that was the weird part. It's feeling more and more normal as each day goes by. Ivy is growing bigger every day - she will be 3 months in a week. And Nicolas turned 9 months today. He is so big! Almost walking now. And Ivy just chats away with full on facial expressions. She's going to be just like her momma - a chatterbox. :) This was probably the first birthday where I wasn't a little bit dep...

My 20 year high school reunion WOULD happen right after I just gave birth! :( (3 months ago counts as JUST giving birth, right?) Ugh. Don't feel like parading my still-pregnant looking body around a bunch of people I haven't seen in 20 years. It's pretty frustrating to stare at a closet full of clothes I used to be able to wear, and push them aside for the maternity clothes that still fit me. And trying to find the time to exercise while I take care of two infants is pretty challenging. But I plan to start a healthy eating and exercise plan....soon. Maybe after my birthday. Which is Sunday. So Monday? Yeah. I'll start Monday. ;)

Watch it HERE

Well, hello world! I am back! After having a broken laptop for 8 1/2 months, I finally feel reconnected to the web! I have purchased my MacBook Pro (Happy Mother's Day to me!) and am back online! YAY!!!! So, here I am. At home. With no time to blog like I used to. But I will try and make time between caring for Nicolas and Ivy, laundry, cooking, running errands, and playgroups. When did I become a desperate housewife??? ;) Oh yeah, when I left LA and moved back to Texas. That's right. But let me tell you, Life is pretty awesome! I can't help but to remember what my days were like in Hollywood. I'm talking my day to day life. If I was LUCKY, I had an audition (or even TWO!) sometime in my day that I had to prepare for, meaning review my sides, figure out what headshot to bring, figure out exactly where I was going, and allow at least an hour to get there - no matter where it was in the city. Sounds like a full day, huh? Well, those were the days when I ac...

Well, this week I was a working actor - again. Yeah, I know, I was supposed to put this whole acting career behind me now that I moved on to my next role as "mommy". I guess old habits are hard to break. ;) This week I worked on the PBS Series The Latino Americans in San Antonio. It was nice...I got put up in a nice hotel and brought along my family for two nights. I only shot one day, but it was a LONG day! I met a lot of great people and had a great time working on this project. There were TWO directors on this! I've never worked with two directors directing the same episode. That was interesting! I thought it would be difficult since they would have two points of view on how they wanted things shot - but they worked together well. We filmed in this beautiful historical house in the King Williams area. I played a very homely looking woman (Sorry Francisca - my character) so no makeup, hair split down the middle, tons of clothing making me look like a...

Well hello out there! Sorry I have been a stranger, but I was a bit busy bringing a beautiful child into this world! ;) Yes, after what felt like an eternity being pregnant - I finally gave birth! Ivy Rose was born on 3/3/12 weighing in at 7 lbs 2 oz. So, yes, now I have TWO babies - under the age of ONE. No, I have no idea how I'm doing it. IF I'm even doing it! But these two beautiful babies are in my life now, and let me tell you - THIS is the hardest job I've ever had. Shoot - this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life! But the most beautiful and rewarding thing I've ever done. No, I'm not getting any sleep. And yes, there are really hard days where I fantisize about my cushy life as an actress in Hollywood - but I wouldn't take any of it back! My happiness that used to be fulfilled by bookings and days on set have been replaced by smiles and laughter by these two little munchkins. And all that time in California, when I fe...

Well, I'm officially 32 weeks pregnant and I still can't wrap my head around that fact! I think because my days are spent taking care of a baby already that it's been hard for me to comprehend that I will give birth to a baby very soon. It all seems very surreal. But here I am, with a growing belly and a soon to be 5 month old baby who happens to be very sick at the moment. He's been battling a cold for the past week. I took him in to see his doctor and they found that he had an ear infection as well- not to mention a tooth breaking in on his bottom gum. Poor baby has so much going on at once. They prescribed anti-biotics and he seems like hes doing better. Fingers crossed. We have been packing all week long - or trying to! We get the keys to our new place on Friday! Yay!!! I'm still in awe that we will be paying only $50 more for this house than what I was paying for my one bedroom apartment in West Hollywood right before I left. Crazy huh?? Gotta LOVE Te...