Lydia's Journey BEYOND Hollywood

Follow an actress's journey beyond Hollywood. The life after a successful 10 year career...

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Ode to Ivy

I am one lucky girl. I was blessed with the most amazing baby girl. No seriously. She is such a good baby! It's like she knows we have our hands full already trying our best to handle TWO babies, so she doesn't make a fuss. Hardly ever. If she cries, it's only for a short period to let us know she's hungry. She sits quietly and observes. She gives me a HUGE smile whenever she sees me and loves to crack up laughing. And this little baby is a talker! She will sit and have conversations with me whenever she's awake - because she loves to sleep. And of course, she easily sleeps through the night. How did we get so lucky??? I often sit and stare at her beautiful face and wonder what kind of person she will grow up to be. What kind of dreams will she have? What kind of places will she see? Who will her best friends be? Will she love the arts? Would she want to play an instrument? Dance? Sing? ACT??? Will she always give people that beautiful smile? I hope so. I want her to live a happy life and bring so much joy to the world. It's unreal just how much she's changed me. Just how much you can love someone in 3 short months. Actually, I confess, it was a lot quicker than that - but it gets stronger everyday. Just when I don't think I can love her anymore than I already do - tomorrow comes. I hear stories from other new moms who complain about how their baby constantly cries or fusses or doesn't sleep through the night. How their baby prefers daddy over mommy or vice versa. And hearing these stories, I realize what a blessing I was given.
To my sweet Ivy, Today is May 31st. I've already had my first Mother's Day and I can't believe 3 months have passed since I held you all pink and tiny in my arms. I cannot believe how much you smile and laugh and hold your head up all on your own. But most of all, I cannot believe that it is possible to love you more with every day. You make my heart sing, my love. I have to be honest, it wasn't long before that I wasn't what most people would call "mommy material". Before you, I was wild and carefree, I didn't think about the future much. You, my sweet little angel, changed me. From the moment I discovered you were growing in my belly, I vowed to be the best mom I could be. To be a mom that you and Nicolas would be proud of. To be a mom you will love, trust and always know that no matter what, in my eyes you are perfect. I know that I will make mistakes, and I know that as you get older, I will embarrass you and you won't want to snuggle with me like you're doing now as I write this. This makes me sad, but I know that as an individual you will need your space to grow. But I want you to know something...No matter how old you are, no matter what you do, and no matter who you become, I will always love you with every fiber of my being. After all, you're the only one that knows what my heart sounds like from the inside. <3 Love, Mom

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Another Year Gone...

Yes. Its true. I'm another year older. I celebrated with family on Sunday in Corpus Christi. The day after my high school reunion. It's funny how fast you can revert back to your high school self once you see those old friends. Its as if no time had gone by - for most of us. ;) I had a good time even though I debated about going for some time now. It was kind of weird when people were talking about my acting career and would introduce me as the "actress in Hollywood". I quickly corrected them with "I used to be... I'm a mom now." Maybe that was the weird part. It's feeling more and more normal as each day goes by. Ivy is growing bigger every day - she will be 3 months in a week. And Nicolas turned 9 months today. He is so big! Almost walking now. And Ivy just chats away with full on facial expressions. She's going to be just like her momma - a chatterbox. :) This was probably the first birthday where I wasn't a little bit depressed. On every birthday I've always felt like something was missing. Like I should be DOING something, or experiencing something else. And this year, it felt good to spend it with my family. Now that these years are going by faster, it's less about me and getting older, and more about my babies and how much they are growing!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

This sucks...

My 20 year high school reunion WOULD happen right after I just gave birth! :( (3 months ago counts as JUST giving birth, right?) Ugh. Don't feel like parading my still-pregnant looking body around a bunch of people I haven't seen in 20 years. It's pretty frustrating to stare at a closet full of clothes I used to be able to wear, and push them aside for the maternity clothes that still fit me. And trying to find the time to exercise while I take care of two infants is pretty challenging. But I plan to start a healthy eating and exercise plan....soon. Maybe after my birthday. Which is Sunday. So Monday? Yeah. I'll start Monday. ;)

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

My On Star Commercial

Watch it HERE

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Believe it Can Happen

Well, hello world! I am back! After having a broken laptop for 8 1/2 months, I finally feel reconnected to the web! I have purchased my MacBook Pro (Happy Mother's Day to me!) and am back online! YAY!!!! So, here I am. At home. With no time to blog like I used to. But I will try and make time between caring for Nicolas and Ivy, laundry, cooking, running errands, and playgroups. When did I become a desperate housewife??? ;) Oh yeah, when I left LA and moved back to Texas. That's right. But let me tell you, Life is pretty awesome! I can't help but to remember what my days were like in Hollywood. I'm talking my day to day life. If I was LUCKY, I had an audition (or even TWO!) sometime in my day that I had to prepare for, meaning review my sides, figure out what headshot to bring, figure out exactly where I was going, and allow at least an hour to get there - no matter where it was in the city. Sounds like a full day, huh? Well, those were the days when I actually had an audition - which wasn't as often as I would hope for - or people would assume. Most of my days were spent either in my acting class (once a week with Howard Fine), teaching classes at Actorsite, running the workshops in the evening, and/or dropping headshots off at casting offices through my side business The Actor's Courier. If I didn't have class, or an audition, or I've done the drops for that week already - I had nothing. AND I MEAN NOTHING GOING ON. So I would try not to bore myself to death at home. Maybe take a walk to Whole Foods. Maybe find a friend who was bored that day too, to kill time with. Maybe watch way too much television. I'm so used to being super busy every minute of my day that I would go crazy sitting at home twiddling my thumbs - which I did often. That thumb twiddling can get pretty lonely and depressing after a while. I would daydream about being needed by other people - a family. Dream about the day where my days were about other people and not myself. Busy with family life. I never thought those dreams would come true. Seriously. Just like I never thought that my dream career would ever come true - but I had 10 years in a city where most people can't handle, in an industry where most people aren't successful, and I found Success! How crazy is that?? And now, here I am, in another successful path that I chose - talk about empowering! It really does make me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to! You really can have the things you want in life! You just have to allow yourself to receive them. I know that may sound corny or very "The Secret" - but it's true. You can bring all the things you want to yourself if you just believe it can happen. I believed. Do you?

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Back to Acting...

Well, this week I was a working actor - again. Yeah, I know, I was supposed to put this whole acting career behind me now that I moved on to my next role as "mommy". I guess old habits are hard to break. ;) This week I worked on the PBS Series The Latino Americans in San Antonio. It was nice...I got put up in a nice hotel and brought along my family for two nights. I only shot one day, but it was a LONG day! I met a lot of great people and had a great time working on this project. There were TWO directors on this! I've never worked with two directors directing the same episode. That was interesting! I thought it would be difficult since they would have two points of view on how they wanted things shot - but they worked together well. We filmed in this beautiful historical house in the King Williams area.
I played a very homely looking woman (Sorry Francisca - my character) so no makeup, hair split down the middle, tons of clothing making me look like a ball of fabric. Fun fun fun. Not the best thing for my self esteem right after having a baby! I don't even want to post a pic of myself since I looked so horrible! The Actor's Fair was this weekend in Austin. I was so excited and pleased to see it all come together. We have an actual professional community here! I worked the SAG-AFTRA table along with giving info on the Austin Actor's Conservatory and TXMPA. I met a lot of different actors and am excited to get more involved in this community. Just not sure in what capacity just yet. If I ever peel myself from the acting world, maybe I can venture off into other areas full time like I had planned. I ended up auditioning for Drop Dead Diva this weekend also. (Not a strong effort in stepping away, huh?) When the opportunities come, I can't seem to say no. My audition was difficult. I think it was because it was an emotional scene and when you are not feeling it 100%, it feels fake. Not sure why it was so hard for me this time around. Maybe because I took a year and a half off? Not sure. But I left that audition with a strong reminder why I wanted to quit acting altogether. I felt like I sucked! Then the PBS shoot happened and I felt good again. Go figure! In other news... My baby girl is 2 months old today and Nicolas is 8 months old! My how time flies!