Lydia's Journey BEYOND Hollywood

Follow an actress's journey beyond Hollywood. The life after a successful 10 year career...

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Remembering the Good Ole' Days

Ah...remember the good old days when I used to work an a professional actress?? Wow - those were some great times! haha Yeah, I know you can hear the sarcasm dripping from these words. And I'm being pretty dramatic - but still! My last job, let me rephrase - my last theatrical job was back in JUNE! We are almost OCTOBER!!!!!! I'm not including the on star commercial back in August. I guess I should - but since I don't really work commercials all that much, that booking was kind of a fluke. But seriously, I guess technically, my last job was in August. Still feels like too long.
I'm so frustrated, and tired. I'm doing everything I can to keep things moving and it's a ghosttown in my career! I'm doing the weekly drops, running and participating in) the workshops, in class with Howard Fine every week, even teaching an audition technique class every Monday, and it feels like it's all for nothing.
The last audition I had was over two weeks ago - for yet another maid. And before that? JULY! Wow...
This is really depressing. I need a job. I need to work I need something.
Let's start with coffee. Here's to a better week this week.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What is SUCCESS?

I remember when I was finishing college, of our our professors, the amazing J. Don Luna, would pull aside the graduating actors and ask what success meant to us. I never really thought about it in a serious way. I usually thought about it in a dreamer's way. Success would be having my own TV series! Seeing myself on the big screen!
But when I made myself really ask that question to myself, I had to explore what success really meant to me. And back then, my measure of success was "to have a career as an actor". Simply to make my living doing it. Solely acting. I didn't need to be famous, or rich, or even star in my own show. Just simply making a living. Being able to write down "Actor" where it asked what my profession was.
Cut to: 13 years later (yikes - that's how long it's been since college??) and I'm actually living my dream. Successful by what my definition was at that time. And now I'm reevaluating what success means to me NOW - and it's shifted a bit.
What success is for me now is being happy doing something I love. Living a full life with balance - not just a career, but with friends and family. Waking up excited to live my life. Making a difference in other people's lives. Motivating and inspiring others.
Moving forward. Progressing.
I'm working toward my success.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Finally - Tomorrow!

I actually have an audition!
Can you believe it?? How long has it been?
Tomorrow I'm going in for a new show called Franklin and Bash. And of course, the ink in my printer has ran out. I'll have to figure out something by tomorrow.
I need a job. It's been way too slow lately.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

The Next Move

It's been so quiet and dead lately that I think I actually see tumbleweeds going by in my career.
I haven't updated this blog lately, because frankly, I haven't been doing much as an actor lately.
The webseries I produced had a successful launch last week! It's officially on Koldcast.tv! Check it out: The Best Friend
The hardest part about producing is not having the creative input I would have if it was something I created. I'm basically helping someone else's vision come to life - and that's great - but the frustrating part is not being able to utilize my creativity. Looks like I need to just go ahead and create my own projects. Better brush up in the writing!
Good thing I still have my master class with Howard Fine which keeps me working on something. It definately helps, especially when I haven't had an audition in ages.
I have to be honest, lately I'm been thinking about moving back to Texas. You see, every year for the past 10 years I've thought about it. And yes, it does usually come when it's super slow for me and I'm frustrated. But this is different. These past 10 years have flown by. And that's both good and bad. Good because it feels like I've accomplished a lot in 10 years. More than most people could dream of in this kind of career. And bad because another 10 years could go by and I could still be in the same position doing the same thing. I just feel that the quality of life in Texas would be vastly different. I'd be surrounded by family and friends, I could do what the rest of the world is doing and actually have a family of my own. You know, that whole "BBQ on the weekends" business that I often hear about and envy, while I'm just here focused on this career. I really feel like a full life is what I'm lacking. I've always said I didn't want to wake up one day and I'm 60 and I forgot to have a family of my own. That's a scary thought. And there is something very frustrating about the instability of my career. I really do hate that one day I'm making so much money for working a few days on set, and the next day I have no clue how I will pay next month's rest. It sucks.
So I've been thinking alot about a relocation. Maybe to San Antonio or Austin. I love both of those cities! Maybe I can start on these projects that I need to create and produce for myself. Maybe this is an opportunity to bring back what I have learned and experieced to the community where I'm from. Teach them what I wish I could've learned before I made that move to Hollywood 10 years ago.
And who knows, maybe I take a year and do this and relaize I hate it and need to move back to LA. Then at least I know. But maybe I do this and realize this was the most perfect decision I could've made for me at this point. You never know. Unless you just do it. Right?