From Zero to 100

You know that saying?  I went from "zero to a hundred"?  Or "baptism by fire"?  Or that ever popular "jumping in with both feet"?
Well, Ceasar and I were decorating our living room for the holidays this weekend, and after putting our stockings up by the fireplace, we realized we have 5 - FIVE stockings up!  Ceasar's, Mine, his 11 year old daughter's, and Nic and Ivy's.
I went from zero - to now 5.  And this is less than a year!!  This December will be 2 years that I've been back in Texas.  Just a short two years ago, I got in my little two seater convertible with my cat and moved back to Texas.  And here I am, no more cat unfortunately (she passed away the same month we got here) and now with a house full of my own family.  How weird is that??
I think that's been my biggest issue - is trying to adjust to this huge change.  I jumped in with both feet and even though at times it seems like I'm drowning, I'm learning to swim as I go.
There are days when I wonder if the babies even know my sacrifices, or appreciate them.  I bathe them, feed them, clothe them, love on them all day long.  They barely know how to sit and stand, so I don't expect them to make me nice pretty cards saying "we love you mom" just yet.  But just when I think they are too young to express such emotion, Ivy leans in to give me a kiss or Nic wraps his arms around my neck and gives me a hard squeeze.
Ok, ok, I get it.  You love me.  ;)

Comments

Anonymous said…
They will know someday! When they have their own babies, all you have done for them. It is hard! You can't know until you go thru it, and it's hard for everyone, no matter if they don't show it or not! You sound like you are being a great mom, we are so hard on ourselves! Have an amazing holiday season with your special family : )

Kerri Kane
8:30 PM
Tim said…
I think you'll find it well worth the change in the long run, Lydia. Sounds like you have the beginnings of a wonderful family! :)
11:23 AM
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