Through the Window

Do you ever feel like you are on the outside of your life, looking in? I think I feel that way mainly because my life was one way for so long. And here I am, in just a short amount of time, living a completely different life. It all seems so surreal at times. There are moments when I look at these babies and really ask myself if they are really here. If they will really be here tomorrow. If my life is forever changed. And there are days when I look at them and wonder how they got so big so fast! Time just jumps on a train when you have kids. I spent 10 years developing a career in Hollywood. I can't imagine what my life will be like in 10 more years. How big these kids will be - who they will become - what life will be like. All I know is, I'm sure it will be completely different than now, or even what I expect. It scary and exciting. Its...well...weird. I used that word very heavily during my pregnancy and labor. Everything was "weird". Watching my belly grow was so weird. Feeling her move. Having my body taken over by another human being. All so very weird. And then forget it, when I was admitted to the hospital to have her - then it really got weird. Breaking my water was the highlight of the weirdness. The epidural. The affect of the drugs. Seeing her for the first time. I couldn't come up with a better word to describe it all. It was all so...WEIRD. And now that we are in our routine, now that I'm adjusting to my daily life as a mom - it's still weird sometimes - when I get a moment to stop and think. I have friends who long for my life. A family life. I tell them, be prepared. Be ready for your entire life as you know it to change. It's definitely different. Mainly for the better - but different. No more freedom to just up and go wherever and whenever you please. Those days of planning a trip out of the country are long gone. For now, Money and time and energy all go to the babies. Girl time over wine at Happy Hour is reduced to maybe once or twice a month, not at the drop of a hat anymore. Those mornings I used to sleep in until 10. Nope. Gone. But it's ok. Because I feel like I've done it all already. I've traveled to Europe, I've had my share (and then some) of happy hours, I've had my dream career and I was ready to turn over my life to new babies. A new family. It's just weird when you finally get what you've dreamed of. It makes you feel like its all...well...a dream. Like you are on the outside looking in.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Proud Agent

Image
So...I'm having one of those moments where I am extremely proud of the talent I represent. No really - I have some amazingly talented actors on my roster.   Yes - here in South Texas.  Corpus Christi to be exact.   A city which has NEVER had a talent agency submitting actors for these opportunities! I had the pleasure of seeing the opening night performance of the musical RENT at the University last week.  Three of the leads are with my agency, and the others, I would love to sign on!  The show was SOOOOO freakin good.  I had seen some of these actors in other shows and never knew some of them can sing like that!  And to see my actors, the ones with the agency, push and stretch their acting limits for these roles, it was the coolest thing to witness!  I think because of my background, and knowing the hard work an acting career takes, it makes me a special kind of agent - one who appreciates the work my actors do - on stage, an...
Read more

ACTOR: Your Hobby or Profession?

Acting is fun.  And for the most part, those who have been bitten by the acting bug will find a way to ACT.  Whether its in their school's play production, community theatre, independent films, or their own youtube channels.  I have seen a ton of talent in my life.  Both at the small town level, and on Hollywood sets.  And I often wonder about the actor onstage in the local community theatre and wonder what their plans and dreams are...  When I started as an actor, I absolutely loved it.  I couldn't get enough of it, actually.  I would audition for plays back to back, participate in student films whenever I could, and dreamt about the day when I could actually do it for a living.  That was my goal.  To make a living doing what I loved to do - so that "work" wouldn't feel like "work". And so I busted my ass to make it happen.  I was focused on a goal and made sure I achieved it. I'm pretty proud of myself.. But I realized that...
Read more

And the JOURNEY Continues...

Image
First of all, let me just say this blog was correctly titled! My journey has been quite an interesting one!  Definitely not "uneventful" - that's for sure... I left LA about 6 1/6 years ago, not knowing why I was leaving a pretty stable acting career in an industry where stable acting careers are hard to find.  I came back home to Texas, not sure what I was looking for, but open to the adventure that was to be found. Three years later, I left Austin and found myself back in my hometown of Corpus Christi Texas, with two kids and a husband.  That was January, 2 years ago.  My initial plan was to open up a casting office in town, and continue casting.  What I found was a city that didn't have much of an entertainment business community.  No talent agencies, no acting schools, aside from high school theatre and the college and university.  That makes casting very difficult. That's when I decided to start teaching.  I found Aurora Arts Theatre,...
Read more