This Sh*t is HARD!

No one told me it would be like this! Seriously! All my mom friends would say that whenever I became a mom, it would be the best experience of my life! Unlike anything I've ever experienced! No one can truly explain what that love feels like...yadda yadda yadda... And it's all true. I never could've imagined that I could feel love like this for another human being - much less TWO. It's unlike any love I've ever experienced. These two babies are my reason for living at the moment - my purpose in life, and most definitely the HARDEST job I've ever had in my life. Now, most would say that coming from a nice career as an actress in Hollywood, that's not saying much. True. But I don't know how else to express how hard this mom thing is. No. Really. Let's just start with yesterday. In my efforts in trying to be a "great" stay-at-home mom, I've looked into the various places in the area that have "Baby and Me" classes and story time. I can be busy everyday if I chose to drag myself out of the house. Yesterday was unlike any normal day for me. I decided that I will attempt a nice stroll around my neighborhood in an effort to get the babies out into fresh air and for me to get some sort of exercise. One lap around the block, and Nic somehow loses his hat. I take another lap around expecting to find it by a curb somewhere. No such luck. Damn. I loaded up both babies and headed to my nearby Baby Earth store where the Baby and Me class was held at 3:30pm. All the other babies were around Ivy's age, around 5-8 months. Nic may have been the oldest baby there, but not by much. All the other babies had their mommy there to focus solely on them. My poor babies had one mommy there (me) who divided her attention between them. Which resulted in poor Ivy strapped to a bouncer since she is the calmer baby, while I tried to keep up with Nic. I felt so bad because I didn't think either one of my babies got the most out of this class. I have no idea how I can work this out. I don't want to throw in the towel. I want to be able to socialize them with other babies, and for me to get out of the house. But I have no idea how to make this work. Yet. Then today.... We had a CRAZY explosion of a number 2 diaper on poor Nic this morning. I'm talking CRA-ZY. It happened while he was having breakfast in his high chair. Let's just say everything needs to be thrown into the washer - TWICE and Nic had to be hosed down. Literally. Then, Ivy, poor baby, woke up feeling a bit under the weather. Runny nose and a cough - just like her daddy today. Add teething to the mix and I get my first full out tantrum for 30 minutes. I'm talking, she's red, coughing, crying, screaming, inconsolable. I try changing her diaper, giving her a bottle, rubbing her gums with teething gel, giving her teething tablets. She finally exhausted herself and fell asleep. Now I'm exhausted. I keep telling myself that it will probably get harder before it gets easier - but I'm SURE it WILL get easier. Right? I mean, I can't imagine it getting any harder. And I'm sure what makes this so hard than most moms is that I have two babies under the age of one. I just feel guilty that neither one of them ever get my full attention during the day. I have to divide it between them. No real one on one time. :( In just a few months, Ivy will be big enough to play with Nic and they can keep each other company and have fun together - and maybe I can get some of my sanity back. Maybe.

Comments

LifeUnspoken said…
It's like having twins, yay us!!!!! :)
5:32 PM
Jen @ Mommy Tries said…
Oh, Lydia! Hang in there--I wonder if what you're dealing with is in some ways more challenging than twins because they're both so little still, but not at the same stage of their lives at the same time. I don't have any advice, alas, but I do honestly believe it will get better before too long.
6:32 PM
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