Second Wave

My first wave of excitement was when I became a professional actress.
My move to Hollywood and the jobs I started to book filled me with such excitement that I couldn't contain myself.  (Thus this blog...)  It was a lifelong dream and I didn't know how to separate myself from my craft.  It was the scariest thing to decide to leave Hollywood and my career for who knows what.  I just knew it was time to make a change.  Nothing had ever filled me with that same excitement before and I was afraid I would never feel it again.  I was leaving behind everything I knew and felt was ME, to start a new life.
I knew it was time to change when I stopped having fun, when that excitement started to fade.  I would book jobs and it didn't feel the same.  I wasn't sure if it was me burning out and just needed a break, or it was time to just walk away.  I felt like this for a few years before I decided to leave.
I moved back to Texas, as most of you know by now, and started building my own family.  I became a mother, and tried to navigate in my new life and role as mom.  I've thought to myself that maybe this was my new wave of excitement.  It is the hardest job I've ever had but I've felt a love like I had never felt before.  My excitement was different than what I felt for my career.  I felt this feeling more in my heart and less so in my gut, like my acting career.
I decided I would step back from Acting altogether and switch gears - focus on a casting career.  I really loved working in casting while I was in LA and became more and more interested as time went on.  I was torn for some time about what to do.  Do I leave acting behind and make the move permanently to casting?  Could I do it?  Would they hire me?  When I decided to leave LA, I kept the possibility of having a future career in casting in my back pocket.
I participated in a staged reading for Teatro Vivo this past weekend.  It was nice to work with old and new friends and the energy I felt while on stage felt like visiting an old friend.  I've always felt at home on stage, but those crazy butterflies that used to flutter like crazy when I stepped on one had now turned into a quiet calmness now.
But what took me by surprise is the second wave of excitement I started to feel after I saw some amazing performances by other young actors in the festival.  It was exciting to recognize talent and feel like I wanted to do anything I could to help them.  I saw myself in these actors who were so young and and just starting to realize their dreams, and they had no clue how to bring them to life.  And I felt this need, down in my belly, to help them along the way.
So maybe my second wave of excitement is me being a mentor?  A consultant?  Who knows...  I just know that I want to help people with what I've learned throughout these years.  Having a successful career in Hollywood isn't easy - AT ALL, and I'm not claiming to know the secrets that will make someone book jobs - but I have learned a lot in my career.  I've seen plenty of people make mistakes along the way.  I've made a few myself ;)  And I remember being in college and not really being prepared for a professional career in this business.  Sure I learned the craft, but I wasn't prepared mentally and professionally to play with the "big dogs".  So I want to bring my knowledge to these young actors who really want to start a career in the hardest business out there, in my opinion.
So I got together with a Casting Director friend who relocated to Texas last year herself.  We had coffee on Sunday and talked about what we could do for this market.  Looks like we may develop a workshop from the Actor's and CD's perspective that we could take to the Austin/San Antonio market.  The goal is to eventually start casting when we have more time to devote to it - but for now, a workshop sounds perfect.
More to come...
It's just exciting to feel that second wave :)

Comments

cherry said…
Been reading your blog since the beginning, just want to say how inspiring your journey is, thank you so much for sharing, it really does mean a lot! I enjoy your writing very much.
Lisa said…
I really think you'd make such a great mentor and casting director. You have the experience and the knowledge and you actually do know the secrets. :) Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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